Multiplication
by Scotty McSpockirk
Summary: Carter has a secret from the men, so Newkirk & LeBeau become detectives to solve the mystery! R/R! :D Oneshot


**Multiplication**

A/N: Hey guys! Thanks for coming to read my story! I hope you enjoy it! This is set after Klink Vs. The Gonkulator in season 4.

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Hogan swung open his office door. "Are you in here Carter?" No reply. This was the third place Hogan had looked for the sergeant, to no avail. It wasn't like Carter to disappear like this. Hogan was worried, though he knew he shouldn't be. Carter can take care of himself. Right?

Hogan turned back round to the common room just as Newkirk entered the barracks. "'e's not on the compound any where." Newkirk said. Kinch and LeBeau entered and reported to Hogan that Carter was not in any of the other barracks.

"What could that ruddy nut be up to this time?" Newkirk asked as he move around the barracks.

Hogan just made a face and glared at Newkirk. "Go check the tunnel Kinch, maybe he's in there."

Kinch nodded and walked over the the bunk that concealed the entrance to their tunnel. Just as he was about to tap on it, so that it would open, the bunk lowered to reveal Carter coming up the ladder.

"Where have you been Carter? We were wor— " Hogan stopped himself. "wondering where you were..." He tried to sound as nonchalant as possible.

"In the tunnel...?" Carter gestured towards the opening that led to the tunnel.

Hogan cleared his throat. "Right." He smiled a little bit, "What were you doing in there?"

All of a sudden, for some reason, the room froze. Everyone could tell immediately that Cater felt uncomfortable. His eyes shifted back and forth a few times, then he slowly sauntered over to his bunk. "Oh...nothing really..."

Newkirk bent down to LeBeau and whispered to him, "I don't buy it." LeBeau discreetly nodded to Newkirk.

"Ya know..." Carter said slowly, "It's such a nice day, I think I'll go for a nice, little walk." He flashed a fake smile and the rushed out of the barracks. A second later he poked his head back in and said, "That's all I'm gonna do! Just walk!" He smiled, then exited again.

Newkirk nudged LeBeau with his elbow. "C'mon"

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The sun shone down brightly on Carter as he made his way across the compound. Not far behind him was Newkirk and LeBeau, lurking in the shadows of the eaves of the barracks. They could not seem to figured out where he was heading, as he seemed to be zig-zagging back in for. Carter could sense he was being followed, but had not yet had the nerve to turn back. A few yards after Carter had passed Schultz on the compound, he whisked himself around and look around. Newkirk and LeBeau immediately jumped behind Schultz for cover. Thanks to Schultz's size, the two went unnoticed by Carter, who continued across the compound.

Schultz turned around and face the two corporals. "What are you doing?"

Newkirk and LeBeau grinned and looked at each, wondering what to say.

"The sun, Schultz," Newkirk replied, "It's very, very bright, isn't it LeBeau?" He raised his hand to block the sun from his eyes.

"Oh yes," LeBeau answered, "You the only shade in this entire camp, Schultz!"

Schultz look at the questioningly, but the just walked off inconspicuously.

"_Sacre chat!_" LeBeau exclaimed, "Thats was close."

Newkirk motioned to the mess hall. "Andrew went that way, let's go."

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Once again Newkirk and LeBeau continued after Carter. They found him as he was opening up the door to the mess hall. "Hey Andrew!" Newkirk exclaimed and they raced up to him.

"Oh hey guys," Carter looked confused, but smiled nonetheless, "What are you doing here?"

Newkirk started to talk, "It was just such a lovely day we decide to come—" LeBeau quickly cut him off, "To get supplies for dinner."

Newkirk looked peeved. "Yes," He said, then started to grin, "LeBeau is making some yorkshire pudding." He gave LeBeau a not-so-friendly smack on the back and smiled. LeBeau merely scowled at him.

"Oh." Carter wasn't sure of how to reply.

"What are you doing here?" LeBeau questioned.

Once again, Carter look uncomfortable. He replied, "I, uh, came in to see," he quickly walked into the mess hall. He looked around hastily. "My friend, Wolfgang!" Carter jogged over to one of the German chefs in the kitchen. "How ya doin' Wolfie? Long time no see! Haha..." He look over at Newkirk and LeBeau nervously as he wrapped his arm around Wolfgang's shoulders. The German didn't say a word, just stared. "Yeah..." Carter took his arm off of Wolfgang, "Well, see ya later..." Carter waved and walked over to Newkirk and LeBeau, who looked baffled. "So you guys...are here to get ingredients?"

They nodded then went over to the pantry. Newkirk watched for anyone coming while LeBeau took what he needed. "Yorkshire pudding..." LeBeau muttered.

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By the time Newkirk and LeBeau had finish taking stuff from the pantry, Carter was out of sight. They got outside and looked around. The compound was empty except for a few guards and two or three prisoners. They were walking back to the barracks when all of a sudden, from the corner of their eyes they see Carter dashing back into the mess hall. They run as fast as they can, with food that they are trying to keep under their jackets. They open the door just a crack, and look in. "He can't be going back in to see Wolfgang." Newkirk scoffed.

They watch carefully as Carter walks over to some produce on a kitchen counter. They see him slip something into his jacket pocket.

As soon as they saw him coming back towards the door, they run off and hide behind a rain barrel. Carter walks quickly back in the direction of the barracks, and they follow him

"Andrew!"

Carter jumped when he heard Newkirk's voice yelling at him from a few feet away. He spin around and put on his most sincere smile. "Newkirk...LeBeau...I thought you guys where making yorkshire pudding...?"

Newkirk pat his chest. "The ingredients are all right 'ere mate!" he said, "under me jacket...we were just... taking them back to the barracks." He shirted his eyes then smiled back at Carter.

"But it was just such a nice day—" LeBeau began.

"That you just had to take a stroll around the compound." Carter interjected. He grinned and nodded, then walked off.

The two followed him closely, and Carter knew it. Something green in Carter pocket caught Newkirk's eye, and he reached out to get it, but before he could, Carter spun around and look at him. He brought his arm up to Carters head and pulled out a hair from behind his ear.

"Ow!" Carter yelled, "What'cha do that for?!"

Newkirk grinned nervously and tossed the strand out hair to the side. "Lice."

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Newkirk and LeBeau made it back to the barracks with out any run-ins with Carter. LeBeau, much to his dislike, started to make yorkshire pudding so that Carter wouldn't get suspicious. A little while later Carter entered the barracks with a coffee cup full of water.

Hogan picked up the coffee pot, "We have coffee, Carter, you want some?"

"No thanks Colonel," Carter took a small sip of the water then walked in the direction of the tunnel.

"Kinch, go check the radio for messages." ordered Hogan

"Yes sir."

"NO!"

Everyone stared at Carter. He sheepishly grinned. "Uh, Kinch, you worked so hard...in the tunnel...on the radio." He nodded. "I'll go and check the radio for messages." He opened up the entrance by tapping on the bunk, then went into the tunnel.

Kinch raised his eyebrows. "That was weird..."

Newkirk motioned for LeBeau to follow him to the tunnel. He opened it up and climbed down the ladder, closely followed by LeBeau. "Wait!" Newkirk whispered to LeBeau. He could hear Carter talking to someone. _"Hey hunny. How are you? You're such a cutie!"_ He laughed. "_Yes, of course I love you." _

Newkirk pushed LeBeau up the ladder. Once they were back in the barracks, Newkirk said, "Why, Andrew's got a girlfriend that 'e's been talking to over the radio!" He shook his head in disbelief. "Who would 'ave thought it?"

LeBeau asked, "But that doesn't explain why he was getting stuff from the kitchen." They looked at Hogan for some sort of answer.

"Maybe..." Hogan pondered, "He was hungry?"

Newkirk poked LeBeau in the arm. "And 'e doesn't like your cooking!" LeBeau scowled at Newkirk.

"I'm gonna get him up here," Hogan said, "I don't have a problem with having a girlfriend, but he shouldn't be sneaking around and keeping secrets from us, it's bad for morale." Hogan went over to the tunnel entrance then stopped, "And men, no teasing, 'kay?"

"Awh well that's not fun at all..." moaned Newkirk.

Hogan called into the tunnel, "Carter come up here, please."

"Okay Colonel!" Carter called back up.

A few seconds later Carter was climbing up the ladder, then came up to Hogan.

"Now Carter, tell us the truth, what have you been doing in the tunnel?" Hogan asked, "Don't worry, nobody will be mad...or tease."

Carter sighed. "Okay guys," He said, "come on into the tunnel, I'll show you."

Everyone looked confused, but followed him anyways. They all climbed down to the tunnel. Once they were all down, Carter said for them to follow him. He led them down the tunnel, but then took them in a completely different direction from the radio. There was more confusion in the men. He took the to a small, lit corner of the tunnel, and then they saw it...or rather them. There, in a box with a blanket in it, was a rather large rabbit, and at least six baby rabbits squirming around, looking for their mothers nipple to suckle on.

"Rabbits?!" Hogan exclaimed. Then he remembered. "You mean...? You didn't?!" He walked up closer to Carter. "You kept it, didn't you?"

Carter nodded, ashamed. "She just stayed in my rabbit trap, I couldn't turn her out, considering she was..."

"Pregnant." Hogan finished his sentence.

"I mean, well, I didn't know...until this morning," Carter continued, "But I didn't think she would be any trouble in the first place!"

"What did I tell you Carter?"

Carter looked down at the little baby bunnies. "There is, uh, no such thing, as one rabbit."

"Right."

**_The End_**

**A/N: Hope you guys liked it! I had fun writing it! :D Don't forget to review if you liked it!**


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